To the One Who Knows
by andysoneandonlyangel
Summary: Nawat is somewhat frustrated with Aly because he feels that she is holding her true feelings from him. He knows that she knows that he loves her, but what does he have to do to get her to admit it?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the one and only Tamora Pierce.

A/N: I just finished reading both Trickster books (pretty late, I know!) and I sort of fell in love with Aly and Nawat! I mean for this to be a oneshot right now, but lemme know if you guys like it! My mind can always be changed! So I really hope you enjoy this and please review! Thanks!!

Nawat swung his muscled torso so that he was able to rest upon a tree branch. His long legs dangled over the sides, and he relished the feeling of the rough bark of the tree grazing against the soft skin of his legs. He gazed up at the cloudy grey sky, barely visible through the canopy of leaves overhead. His dark brown eyes narrowed as he scowled up at the offending clouds not because of the storm that was brewing behind those dark clouds but because his mind was in turmoil…in turmoil because of Aly.

He let his mind wander back to the past couple of weeks. Nawat closed his usually dreamy eyes to let the memories grow stronger. He had shed his crow form so that he could watch over and be with Aly as a man. The corners of his lips turned up slightly as he recalled their first kiss. For once, he had caught Aly unawares. He remembered the feeling of her body held tightly against his, how her hands ran through his hair as if she was preening him as he so often did to her. His lips parted slightly as he felt the ghost of Aly's lips move against his, ever so lightly. Although he found this kissing business quite pleasurable, it wasn't anything like what he expected. It was so different from mate-feeding although it looked similar to Nawat in the beginning. He had never found anyone he wanted to kiss until he met Aly. He never felt anything like what he began to experience until he met Aly. Nawat's smile grew wider…he never felt a lot of things until Aly flew into his life.

Aly's flirtatious and mischievous grin did things to his heart that made it beat slower and faster at the same time. But she had a shy smile too, one that seemed to be reserved especially for Nawat. It was _that_ smile that made him sure that he meant something to her…he just wasn't sure what that something was yet. Her laugh was infectious to those around her. Aly's very presence made Nawat want to measure up to her standards. He loved the way the sun glinted off her reddish-blond hair… it might be that as a crow, he was attracted to things that sparkled, but there was more than that that attracted him to her. When she looked into the sun, her hazel eyes revealed sparks of gold and when she was teasing him, her eyes turned exceedingly green. It was when her green eyes smiled at him, that Nawat was made aware of a well hidden secret. He hoped that she would tell him her secret one day…and he hoped to hear that her secret was that she loved him as he did her.

The raucous caws of his flock brought Nawat back to his senses….and back to his uncharacteristically melancholy self. He ran a hand through his short black hair, tousling it even more. Aly frustrated him. Nawat had courted her more passionately and more resolutely than any other crow ever had to do since the first flock came into existence. He offered her sparklies that would make any other female crow willingly become his mate; he offered her the choicest and tastiest grubs he could find, and yet Aly would only look away from his offerings and politely reject him again and again. He brought up the topic of mating and she kept spurning him in that lilting, teasing way of hers. He was running out of things to do for her.

But then again, she would let him preen her short hair. And, she never resisted him when they kissed, and they were kissing more than just occasionally now. That thought made Nawat smile, revealing his white teeth against his brown skin. They had just kissed last night, and if he recalled correctly, Aly had been quite breathless by the end of it. When he stepped back from her, her legs shook, making her look like a nestling discovering its legs for the first time.

Nawat squeezed his eyes closer together for a brief second and then opened them up. He murmured softly, "Do I have to actually say the words before she finally believes me? Do I have to shout out that I love her? Do I pray to the gods for their blessing? What can I do to make her realize how good we are together? I want to protect her; I want her to let me love her. I want to make her happy and make her laugh…I want to be her life-mate, and she is the only woman who I care enough to have nestlings with."

He exhaled… releasing a long, wistful sigh and muttered against the soft whisper of the wind, "How much more do I have to prove to her that I love her? What more can I do?"

He heard footsteps underneath him. He peered down and saw Aly walk past him without stopping. The leaves had hidden him well…too well. But Nawat was thankful this time; he did not want to face her until he thought of a way to let her know what she meant to him.

Then it dawned on him. If Aly would not take his actions seriously, he would have to take a different route. Nawat wanted to prove to her the depth of his affections and he wanted her to listen. Obviously, actions were not enough because it made Aly lose track of herself. _Kissing tended to do that to these humans_, Nawat thought. _But I can see why_.

Nawat leaped neatly down to the grass and made his way into his workplace. In the dimming light of the sun, he took out a piece of paper and stared at it for quite a while. Twilight came and then when the first stars started to festoon the skies, Nawat was finally inspired.

At the very top of his piece of parchment, Nawat wrote in bold, spiky letters: _To the one who knows…_


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All characters belong to the one and only Tamora Pierce.

A/N: I was FINALLY inspired! Sorry I didn't update earlier, but I hope this is worth the wait. So I hope you enjoy this and please review!! Thanks!!

In the darkness of his workshop, while everyone was deeply asleep, Nawat slaved over his letter to Aly. Feathers from various birds, immortal or otherwise, were strewn haphazardly around the table except for a little space in which the wooden top was visible. Nawat was bent over a piece of worn parchment, his shadow elongated on the wall by the light of a lone flickering candle.

The parchment in front of Nawat was full of scratched out half-sentences and phrases. He finally sighed and leaned back in his chair. He rubbed his eyes ferociously and crumpled up the parchment. He lobbed it against the wall. Nawat stared at it for a long while, and then he finally got up from his chair and retrieved the ball of paper. He regretted his burst of anger and his growing impatience with the letter. Smoothing the paper, Nawat read his half-hearted attempt in trying to tell Aly just how much she meant to him.

_**To the one who knows,**_

_**I have never written a letter like this before…**_

_**Aly, I love you. I can not make it anymore clearer than that.**_

_**I want you to be my life-mate. I will wait for you.**_

Nawat ran his callused and work-hardened hands over the parchment, feeling the deep gouges where his quill had furiously scratched out phrases that he knew Aly would laugh at. That was his unspoken fear. He did not want Aly to laugh at him. He knew she would not mean it as an insult, but the possibility of her laughing at his emotions might just be too much for Nawat to handle. It would injure him more than she could ever imagine.

He looked out the window and saw the glowing pale moon set against the dark velvet of the sky. The serenity of the night finally calmed Nawat and eased his anger and uncertainty with himself. He took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. He envisioned what he really wanted to tell Aly…what he had always been afraid to.

Nawat let his mind go blank and he let the words come to him. _I have never felt this way before, for any human or any crow, and I have never wanted anyone more than I want you. When I look into your eyes, your beautiful, sparkling hazel eyes, there is something there that tells me that you feel the same thing. _

Nawat stopped. _No. Not good enough. _He squeezed his eyes closer together and tried again. _Whenever we kiss, and whenever I hold you close, I can feel each of your precious heartbeats. I know you have secrets, and hopefully you will one day trust me enough to reveal to me how you truly feel. I want to feel the warmth of your touch for all my days to come. I want to live out the rest of my life with you at my side. I want to discover all the wonders of you. Aly, I want to share all of your todays and tomorrows._

Abruptly, Nawat opened his eyes. His nose scrunched up in disgust. _Ugh. No! Gods, Nawat…try harder. Is it really so hard to write a letter to Aly?_

He pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes. Nawat pulled out a fresh piece of parchment and dipped his quill into some ink.

_**To the one who knows,**_

_**Aly, I want all of you. All that you are able to give me. And in return, I swear that I will give you all of me. **_

Nawat leaned back, finally satisfied. He decided against signing his name at the bottom. He reached into a drawer that was attached to his table and pulled out a long, black feather. It was one of his. Nawat decided to simply roll up the parchment, and attach his feather to it. He smirked. Aly was a smart girl, she would be able to figure this out.

He looked around his tiny workplace and his eyes took in the messier than usual room. Parchment scraps littered the floor; feathers were still strewn around the table. His fingers twitched as he reached to clean the table, but his eyes felt heavy. With a sleepy sigh, he blew out the feeble flame of the candle and went upstairs to his sleeping pallet.

The next morning, Nawat awoke to the sun shining on his face. He basked in the warmness, letting the light play against his skin. His eyes, when he finally opened them, were red. A restful night had eluded him. Nawat had not been able to sleep; he had been plagued by his thoughts of Aly's reaction to his letter. He knew that she would not show her true thoughts, but react she would. It was only after he decided to not send the letter that the God of Dreams admitted him entrance into the Dream World. Nawat would send the letter to Aly when she was no longer busy with her mission that Kyprioth had bade her to do.

Nawat made his way down to his workplace later than usual. Morning activity was bustling and people were rushing back and forth trying to finish errands. Nawat's eyes narrowed as he took in his workplace. His nostrils flared slightly as he recognized the scent. Aly had been in there. If he wasn't so in-tuned with her scent, he never would have known she was here.

* * *

Unbeknownst to him, Aly had come by earlier to see him. She had expected to see him hard at work, but he was still abed. With a smirk forming on her face, Aly made up her mind to surprise him. She entered his workspace and to her surprise, his table and floor was littered with feathers, crumpled up pieces of parchment and branches. Aly crept closer to the table and was taken aback to see her name on a piece of paper. She read the message once quickly, then once more, a bit slower this time. The sensation of blood rushing to the surface of her skin made Aly touch her cheek in wonder. She touched the parchment lightly with her fingertips and ran the feather that lay next to the letter through her fingers. She knew Nawat cared for her…she just didn't know _how much_ he cared until now. Her whole body tingled with this new realization.

The floorboards creaked above her, waking her up from her reverie. She debated whether to stay and talk to Nawat, but at that moment, Dove called out to her. Aly walked over to the door, and before she stepped out, she took one last wistful look behind her, torn by her decision.

* * *

Nawat never sent the letter. He did not feel the need to anymore. He knew Aly read it. Unconsciously, Nawat stroked the parchment in the same spot as Aly did. He smiled. She finally knew.

Through the darkness of the next few months, through the trials and tribulations when everything was so uncertain to Aly, she trusted and believed in one thing: in Nawat's love. She never voiced it to him, but whenever she looked at him, there was something new in her eyes. And Nawat knew and understood. But every night before he fell asleep, Aly was fresh in his mind. And he would repeat the same phrase over and over again until it became like a mantra. _I want all of you, your body and soul and every kind of love you can express. I'll take nothing less. I want all of you. _


End file.
